In the store, a woman attacked the mother and said some foul things; the mother’s response procured the absolute best retaliation for her.

It is frequently rude and annoying to judge someone before even knowing them. Even if we are familiar with all the good and bad traits of a person, we do not have the right to dictate how they should live their lives or what they should do.

Whether we agree with their actions or not, we can offer advice rather than pass judgment on them. However, you must be aware of or have had experience with the issues they are dealing with in order to offer advice.

However, most people act in the exact opposite way. Even when they are ignorant of the true issue, they still judge and offer advice. Kelly Dirkes encounters this on a regular basis.

Kelly and her husband made the decision to adopt two Down syndrome children. They work to give these two children the most comfortable life possible. But people frequently put them in odd circumstances.

One instance of this was when Kelly was carrying the children in a baby carrier while she was shopping in the store. A woman stopped her while she was looking for the products she needed and tried to offer her a “free piece of advice.”

The woman advised her to stop wearing the children in a baby carrier because doing so will not help them become independent. Kelly was stunned and unable to speak as a result. Frustrated and at a loss for words, Kelly took her time and chose not to respond to the woman right away.

Kelly wrote a letter in response to the woman and all other critics of her. When Kelly got home, she wrote the letter. This is a really strong letter.

You know, I’ve heard it before. I “spoil that baby,” they said. You were certain she would never develop “independence”. I gave her a head kiss and grinned as I carried on with my shopping.

If only you were aware of what I am.

If only you were aware of how she spent the first ten months of her life completely alone in a sterile metal crib, with nothing but her fingers to comfort her.

If only you could have seen the fleeting moments of tranquility mixed with sheer terror on her face when her orphanage caregiver handed her to me to hold for the very first time. She had never been held in that position before, and she was unsure of what to do.

If you only knew that after waking up, she would lie in her crib and never cry—because up until this point, nobody would react.

If only you were aware that anxiety was a regular occurrence in her day, along with hitting her head against the crib rails and self-rocking for comfort and sensory input.

If only you knew how heartbreakingly “independent” that baby in the carrier is, and how we will spend years trying to silence the part of her brain that screams “trauma” and “not safe.”

If only you were aware of what I am.

If only you were aware that the baby now whimpers when she is put down as opposed to being picked up.

If only you were aware that baby “sings” at the top of her lungs in the mornings and right after naps because she anticipates that by babbling, someone will come and change her diaper and lift her out of her crib.

If only you were aware that the infant does not rock herself to sleep; rather, she does so while being held by her mother or father.

If only you knew that infant made everyone cry on the day she unpromptedly reached out for comfort.

If only you were aware of what I am.

The most significant job I will ever have is “spoiling that baby,” and it is an honor. She is learning that she is safe, so I will carry her for a little while longer, or as long as she will let me. that she has a place. she is cherished.

If only you knew…

If you have no idea what is going on in someone else’s life, you cannot judge them and tell them what to do. A straightforward piece of advice would be more than sufficient, but only after you have felt or experienced the issues they are dealing with.

People who are judged suffer and become less confident. We don’t want to do that because we believe that everyone has the right to decide for themselves what the best course of action is.

By Mariam

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